Happyness...

Have you ever gotten to a place in life where just living is enough to make you happy? Just being able to get up and go to work and be is enough to make you content? Well, I'm there! I can't explain it nor can I even begin to describe the feeling...but it's good.

I don't know if it started when I hurt my ankle/foot or what but it made me slow down and take a look at things in a new light. I no longer felt that urge or feeling to please everyone that crossed my path. I also don't feel the need to please the figures in my life that only brought criticism. I learned to just be me....cuz that is enough. If people don't like me for who I am then they can take it up with God. After all he made me who I am. My passion, emotions and weirdness all came from him. He made me unique for a reason. I love who I am and quite frankly I don't wanna be anyone else.

There was a time in my life that I could find something wrong with my life everyday! Something to complain about and something that I couldn't control. That negativity took up my good energy and used it up and wore me out. I no longer want to focus on the negative things in my life. I need to just put on my big girl panties and deal with it all. Make active choices to fix what I don't like and quit my whining. I know this is an "easier said than done" type of thing, but it needs to be done.

There will come a time in life when you find somone who makes you want to be a better person. When this happens the above won't seem so difficult to accomplish. You will work hard for them just because you feel they deserve it. You will do things that aren't your job to do just beacause they make you smile with the little things they do. You may have spent your life looking for them and trying to find them and then one day God will say "hey I need you to do this and be here"...you will def ask him "why God? I can do all this on my own and I don't need to make this change"....he will nudge you and tell you again "I need you here!" So you go "here" and do what God says and a month later you will be praying or just talking to God and you will say...."God, now I know why you wanted me here. It may not be what I needed but it is what they needed. I also am getting a lot out of it as well. Thank you for putting me in a situation I didn't know that I needed to be in."

You see...change in life isn't always becuase you messed up or you were doing something wrong. Sometimes change means that you know this part of life but now you need to learn a few more skills that haven't been mastered yet! This way you know for the future endeavors that may come into your life. So take me for instance...I had the independent thing mastered, but God showed me that I needed to quit seeking approval that I will never get and focus on being a little dependent. This way when that special person comes into my life I am able to stop and look around and realize my blessing when it comes. I was doing everything on my own and when you do it that way then you don't need anyone. People need to be needed and when you don't need anyone its a recipe for lonliness!

Like I said I can't explain it all but I am blessed to be where I am in life. Whether it is just to teach me a new skill or to plant my roots...I thank God each and every day for my life. I am truly happy and I wouldn't change my life not one bit! Thank you to all my family and friends who have stuck by me through all the good times and the hard times! Your friendship means the world to me!

I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for me! God Bless!! <3 < 3

John 1:16 "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another."

Realizations...

Have you ever been somewhere and said to yourself "yup this is the place I am supposed to be"....I was there this weekend. Not only did I find a church that I want to give a good shot, but I also had that image flash in my mind of a location for other things that come in the future. Not that this is what is on my mind but it's what I thought about while sitting there listening to the pastor preach. The church still had pews and everything and I love that in a church. Through the windows I could hear the kids playing outside and I just had this calming and comforting feeling like that is where I am supposed to be at. He said so much that hit me and really stuck, but so did his awesome joke that I had heard just the week before from an equally awesome guy! :)

I also hung out with 3 wonderful kids! We had TONS of fun! I had to get a little stern with them but I didn't do it cuz I was mad, I did it cuz I saw things getting out of control and I didn't want anyone getting hurt or the fun and games and jokes going too far. Isn't that what adults are for? We have all been in these situations before and adults nag for you to stop so nobody gets hurt right?! Well looking back, eventhough it was fun, sometimes you wish you just would've stopped before things went too far. Anyway, the whole point of this is that I loved having those kids over. I loved having a house full of kids! So the urge to have kids got a little stronger. Now I know they are a lot of work and responsibility and I am not ready just yet, but I do have a stronger urge for them. That motherly instinct is kicking in and I am experiencing that nurturing urge more often. I'd love to babysit babies so anyone who knows of new mothers who need a break PLEASE send them my way! I have always loved kids and now I finally feel like I am getting to a place where I am ready for my own. Like I said, not right this minute but I am getting there.

I am at a place in my life where I'd rather sit at home with my family on my time off than go out and party my life away. I know to some people this sounds crazy but it's all I've ever wanted....a family of my own!  Ok I need to work now...more to come later!

Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 139:13 "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mothers womb."

Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

God Bless <3 <3

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit....

The whole thing started when I made other plans for my life. I had it all figured out....and then God stepped in and said "HEY...this is soooo not how this is going to go!" I didn't understand and then I remembered that saying...."Good things fall apart so that better things can come together."

God knows the plans he has for us. He will let us only take our own plans so far and then his will stops us in our tracks and takes over. It is always such a good plan that we never see coming. I was brought into a wonderfully qwerky family and group of friends. They are such good people and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. God brought me a roommate who quickly became a friend! I got rid of a lot of my "stuff" and got so much more in return. God brought me closer to my friend Aubrey as well. Henn took my OK life and made it amazing. I have so much to be thankful for and I thank God everyday for it all.

Now I am not saying my life is perfect, cuz it's not. It is a wonderful life though! I have my health, a job, a roof over my head and wonderful people surrounding me! A lot of people look around at their lives and question every aspect of it. They find something wrong with everything and try to constantly put words to everything. Some things can't be explained with words and lately I have found that those are some of the most amazing and sweetest moments ever!!! I'm just happy being happy! A lot of your are probably reading this going...."are you serious?!" haha I am actually! My life is good! I am finally so happy that I don't need labels. I like just enjoying my life from day to day and I don't need to "categorize" my happiness. :)

I have to give a special shout out to my roomie Lance! Thanks for a great month so far and thank you for introducing me to such wonderful people! You're the best! :)


Romans 1:17 "And Jesus said unto them ... , "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."


1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... "

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Day 1....

So I decided that it is officially time to get my rear in shape! Since everyone keeps telling me oval/round isn't a shape...guess I better get to work. I stopped at the store before work and got fruit and some unsalted almonds and coffee creamer (hey some things must stay in my diet), I have been very good as I brought a can of tuna with as well. I haven't been starving either. I feel a lot better and haven't even done my run yet. Did have to make a decision about dinner with a friend....we compromised on sushi! Healthy for me and yet still yummy for both of us. I plan on clearing out my apt after and then going on my run. Since my new neighborhood is so super nice and quiet it should be great! I know this will get tougher as the days and weeks go by, but I can no longer keep putting crap into the healthy body that God has given me. I haven't been taking care of myself lately and that is the change I need to make. Eating healthier and excercising more often can only help me feel tons better. So as of now I feel great, a little tired but that is just loss of sleep from the weekend ;)

The main thing I need to focus on is protein and fruits and veggies. This means a trip to the grocery store...which is overdue for me. I need to keep it simple too: Eggs, Oatmeal, fruit, veggies, salad, chicken, almonds, water, yogurt etc. Water and Tea Only and then coffee...I think I might give myself sunday as a free day and splurge. :)

The whole reason that this was sparked was my dragging mood lately. I realized the icky crap that I have been putting into my body and realized that its not good for me and I need to get back to basics and being healthy again! Now this isn't to say that I won't enjoy the yummo things in life but at a minimum!

So...anytime anyone wants to go walking, for a jog or even a hike, let me know! I would be happy to join you! :) Time for sushi! Toodles and GOD BLESS!!!

Psalms 119: (105-112) "By your words I can see where I'm going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I've committed myself and I'll never turn back from living by your rightous order. Everything's falling apart on me, God; put me together again with your Word. Festoon me with your finest sayings, GOD; teach me your holy rules. My life is as close as my own hands, but I don't forget what you have revealed. The wicked do their best to throw me off track, but I don't swerve an inch from your course. I inherited your book on living; it's mine forever-what a gift! And how happy it makes me! I concentrate on doig exaclty what you say- I always have and always will."

A night at the movies....

"What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you? "....

Has anyone ever seen "Sleepless in Seattle"? It was a preview on my movie "Julie and Julia" last night. I was thinking about this movie and how even before internet she found the only one for her over a radio program. I remember watching this movie and thinking at one point, "gosh i wish this would happen to me"...and I know I am not the only one. We all watch movies and dream about this happening to us. We secretly hope that we truly do have a prince charming. So why, when it happens to one of us, is it so hard to believe? Why do we automatically go to a negative place and say, ooh be careful, don't go too fast, he may not be who he says he is, are you sure this is what you want? We are never sure when we make any decision...whether it be to get a haircut or whether it be to take a chance on a great guy who lives 600 miles away. The think that we must remember is that we need to pray about every decision we make. Yes I do this. Some of us forget that when we hear about a situation that its not up to us to decide what happens, its up to God and we need to pray about it and find his answer.

Well I have done this already and God hasn't given me any reason to doubt that we should give it a go. That is why I have a boyfriend that I have never met. He makes me feel special from 600 miles away every day. He always makes it a point to call me everyday no matter how busy he is. That is something that only God can give me. It's something I have never had before. The best part is that he is Christian and has the same rules that I do, well he had one I didn't but that I did agree with.

Now I am sure you all are thinking "but you haven't even met yet"...not yet but we wil meet soon. I am going up there next week. We keep saying that to ourselves....as much as we both dream, we also keep ourselves in the real world. God is the main focus of our relationship and that is how it will continue to thrive. I want everyone who is nervous about this at all to pray about it....yes even if you don't make prayer part of your daily life. God will show you just as he has shown us that this is meant to be. I have faith in God that he will lead me in the right direction for my life and I need the support of friends and family. Now I have the support of a select few, but not everyone is as supportive.

2 Chroniclles 20:20-21 "Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord our God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the amy, saying:

                          "Give thanks to the Lord,
                              for his love endures forever."

God Bless!

Answered Prayers....

So you think life is all a coincidence huh....well aren't you in for a big surprise!! I prayed last night and asked God for clear signs as to which way I should go....wouldn't you believe, not only did he show me in church what I should do, but he showed me via a movie that was on tv this afternoon. It's amazing when you open your heart and mind to God and allow him to work in your life and lead it in the direction that he wants you to go. As Pastor Doug said this morning know when to take risks in order to follow what God wants for your life.

The movie that was on was Mona Lisa Smile. At one point in the movie Julia Roberts character was told that maybe she didn't come to the college to help the girls find their way, but for to help them find her way. See the movie is about a teacher who tries to tell women from the 50's era that they have more of a choice than to just be a wife, mother and homemaker. The girls go to this college to buy time until they are married. Now if that isn't closely accurate I don't know what is. I have always felt like I was a country girl raised in the city. I also felt that I was raised in the wrong era.

Lately I believe that God has been cleaning out the compartments of my heart and I think he got down to this spot in my heart that has been buried under my parents want for me to go to school and get an executive job making a lot of money so I wouldn't have to work as hard as they did. Well I think that one of the best jobs in the world would be to be a stay at home mom. Raising your kids and being there for them anytime they needed you. I guess it's cuz I was a latch key kid and didn't have a choice to be around my dad very much and my mom worked a lot to be able to pay the bills. I only saw my dad four days a month and that wasn't enough.

Well I met a wonderful guy, well not met but soon we will meet, and we share a lot of the same goals and wants for life. I feel as though I can tell him anything and I feel comfortable telling him anything. I share my concerns with him and he shares his with me. I have prayed to God and have yet to see any negative answers to my prayers. I have only had one negagtive reation to any of this and it is with my parents. They are reluctant to allow me to move forward with my life. I listened to their concerns but when I bring up anything to do with my faith they want nothing to do with it. My mom mainly is the one trying to place doubt in my head and heart and I want nothing to do with it. I look at the way that she has lived her life and I just don't understand how she can tell me what she has told me. I do have to remember that she doesn't listen to what God is trying to tell her. I also have to remember that while she is my mother and I respect her, it doesn't mean that she is right. I need to listen to God first and foremost and just go along for the ride. He will always be by my side even when family and friends aren't. This may be a little deep and hard for everyone to understand but it's what I am going through right now.

I am happy and I believe that God has AMAZING things in store for my life. We shall see what his timeline really is like in the next few weeks. :)

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

God Bless!!!

Faith...

Sunday at church we had a sermon about faith. We forget so quickly that God has our life planned out for us He knows where we are headed and he will bring things into our life that we need to get through the door that leads us to our path. We can't doubt Gods plan for us. We need to have faith in him and his word that he will work in our lives and make it what it needs to be.

I have been going through a lot and my friends are awesome! They are all worried and give me great advice, but in the end they are happy for me. Well, they don't want me to go anywhere but they are happy for me. I can't wait until everyone gets to meet him. I'm a little sad that Vicky won't be able to meet him but she can talk to him on the phone.

I just think that in this worldly society we don't have enough faith in God that he will get us through. We see hardship and immediately ask, "why would god do this to me?" He isn't testing us either, he is showing us that in life there are rough patches, but its how we handle those rough patches that make us who we are and define us.

Time for work!

God Bless!