Happyness...

Have you ever gotten to a place in life where just living is enough to make you happy? Just being able to get up and go to work and be is enough to make you content? Well, I'm there! I can't explain it nor can I even begin to describe the feeling...but it's good.

I don't know if it started when I hurt my ankle/foot or what but it made me slow down and take a look at things in a new light. I no longer felt that urge or feeling to please everyone that crossed my path. I also don't feel the need to please the figures in my life that only brought criticism. I learned to just be me....cuz that is enough. If people don't like me for who I am then they can take it up with God. After all he made me who I am. My passion, emotions and weirdness all came from him. He made me unique for a reason. I love who I am and quite frankly I don't wanna be anyone else.

There was a time in my life that I could find something wrong with my life everyday! Something to complain about and something that I couldn't control. That negativity took up my good energy and used it up and wore me out. I no longer want to focus on the negative things in my life. I need to just put on my big girl panties and deal with it all. Make active choices to fix what I don't like and quit my whining. I know this is an "easier said than done" type of thing, but it needs to be done.

There will come a time in life when you find somone who makes you want to be a better person. When this happens the above won't seem so difficult to accomplish. You will work hard for them just because you feel they deserve it. You will do things that aren't your job to do just beacause they make you smile with the little things they do. You may have spent your life looking for them and trying to find them and then one day God will say "hey I need you to do this and be here"...you will def ask him "why God? I can do all this on my own and I don't need to make this change"....he will nudge you and tell you again "I need you here!" So you go "here" and do what God says and a month later you will be praying or just talking to God and you will say...."God, now I know why you wanted me here. It may not be what I needed but it is what they needed. I also am getting a lot out of it as well. Thank you for putting me in a situation I didn't know that I needed to be in."

You see...change in life isn't always becuase you messed up or you were doing something wrong. Sometimes change means that you know this part of life but now you need to learn a few more skills that haven't been mastered yet! This way you know for the future endeavors that may come into your life. So take me for instance...I had the independent thing mastered, but God showed me that I needed to quit seeking approval that I will never get and focus on being a little dependent. This way when that special person comes into my life I am able to stop and look around and realize my blessing when it comes. I was doing everything on my own and when you do it that way then you don't need anyone. People need to be needed and when you don't need anyone its a recipe for lonliness!

Like I said I can't explain it all but I am blessed to be where I am in life. Whether it is just to teach me a new skill or to plant my roots...I thank God each and every day for my life. I am truly happy and I wouldn't change my life not one bit! Thank you to all my family and friends who have stuck by me through all the good times and the hard times! Your friendship means the world to me!

I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for me! God Bless!! <3 < 3

John 1:16 "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another."

Realizations...

Have you ever been somewhere and said to yourself "yup this is the place I am supposed to be"....I was there this weekend. Not only did I find a church that I want to give a good shot, but I also had that image flash in my mind of a location for other things that come in the future. Not that this is what is on my mind but it's what I thought about while sitting there listening to the pastor preach. The church still had pews and everything and I love that in a church. Through the windows I could hear the kids playing outside and I just had this calming and comforting feeling like that is where I am supposed to be at. He said so much that hit me and really stuck, but so did his awesome joke that I had heard just the week before from an equally awesome guy! :)

I also hung out with 3 wonderful kids! We had TONS of fun! I had to get a little stern with them but I didn't do it cuz I was mad, I did it cuz I saw things getting out of control and I didn't want anyone getting hurt or the fun and games and jokes going too far. Isn't that what adults are for? We have all been in these situations before and adults nag for you to stop so nobody gets hurt right?! Well looking back, eventhough it was fun, sometimes you wish you just would've stopped before things went too far. Anyway, the whole point of this is that I loved having those kids over. I loved having a house full of kids! So the urge to have kids got a little stronger. Now I know they are a lot of work and responsibility and I am not ready just yet, but I do have a stronger urge for them. That motherly instinct is kicking in and I am experiencing that nurturing urge more often. I'd love to babysit babies so anyone who knows of new mothers who need a break PLEASE send them my way! I have always loved kids and now I finally feel like I am getting to a place where I am ready for my own. Like I said, not right this minute but I am getting there.

I am at a place in my life where I'd rather sit at home with my family on my time off than go out and party my life away. I know to some people this sounds crazy but it's all I've ever wanted....a family of my own!  Ok I need to work now...more to come later!

Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 139:13 "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mothers womb."

Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

God Bless <3 <3