Struggle...

I'm not struggling with faith, I know God will light my path and guide me. I am not struggling with wanting to drink, for I know that it will only get me negative results. I'm struggling with patience and the want to spend time with others. I still want to help people but my patience for listening is dwindling rapidly. I don't know what changed. I am not sure if I am just trying too hard to fit everyone onto my plate or what it is, but I don't like this feeling. I am saying a MAJOR prayer tonight to find out all the answers to my questions. I do know that I need to see less of some people. I love them and care for them but right now I don't have time for all the details that I once did. It seems to be an obsessive conversation over the same thigs. It makes me feel guilty, because I know they haven't changed but I have. This is tough and its def a prayer issue, but the good thing is that it isn't a boy issue.

I haven't come across any major boy issues at all recently. Any men that God has put in my path are amazing and they have so much that I can learn from them. I think that they will be really good people to talk to once I get to a point in my life where I am comfortable in my relationship with God. This way the nerves that I get around guys can be calmed by God and he can help me learn what it is to be true friends with a guy. I don't know how to do that. I want to, but I get extremely nervous and a high level of anxiety. It's weird i know but its what I deal with. The good thing is that I do have a mentor. I am so happy and so honored to have her in my life. Thanks to Alan I can go to her with anything at all and she has such a wonderful answer for me. It doesn't necessarily mean that she tells me the answer, but she tells me what she would do and then I go home to pray about it. Ultimately I think God has a million and a half sticky notes up on his fridge that say Lacey AGAIN! lol But it is a good thing. I am truly trying the whole trust in God with everything you have life. I love it so far. It isnt without problems or slight isssues but it is amazing and good. He will never leave my side nor will he lead me astray.

I thank God for the people that he has led into my life since he planted the seed within me. I thank God for the family that I have received through him, for they are the ones that understand. They are wonderful people and all they see is good. They don't care about my past, but only know that I am taking the proper steps to have a better future. I am slowly beginning to open up to them and speak of the things going on in my life. I dont' have a lot of bad things, but the things I do I pray about. I can't stress enough how much prayer has helped me. Eventhough I am having a particularly tough week, I pray and God brought me some amazing things. He brought conversation from a stranger and the ability to expand a friend circle.

Psalms 18:8-9 "[It is] better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. [It is] better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes." Psalms 112:7 "He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord."